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Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Cancelling My fabric Membership

Hard times.  Not that I ever go any more but I do like the CDs and sense of belonging.

*****

Dearest fabric

It pains me to say it but I am going to have to cancel my membership.  Temporarily, of course.

I am trying to work out how long I have been a fabricfirst member.  I would take a metaphorical synth stab at 11 years.  I have every one of your CDs.  Room 1 feels like home (well, until my feet get tired and I realise it actually isn't my home).  I still have my original leather membership card - how I have not lost this I have no idea.

It's not you.  It's me.  See, I decided upon the most ridiculous career change from being bored out of my skull in a boiling hot office in Bracknell putting numbers in spreadsheets and annoying people that have paid their bills late, to becoming a full-time Jerry Springer viewer, and occasional Wetherspoon's mystery shopper.

Well, that wasn't quite the dream - I don't have a TV for a start - why would one require a television when one has 187 fabric CDs to listen to?  Also I am allegedly a web developer - though struggling to get my foot in the door.

I will eventually achieve my goal, but at the moment, 3 months unemployed, it is squeaky-bum time - I've cut my food budget down as low as it can possibly go, so now I have to cut back on real necessities and yes, my fabricfirst membership is going to have to be culled.

This transgression I hope is forgivable.  I will re-instate it as soon as I am no longer a scumbag benefits scrounger, and ensure that I order all of the CDs that I have missed.  I do beg your forgiveness - I am going to shortly punish myself by playing Hard House Nation Volume 87 CDs 1 and 2, which are probably exactly the same (and some people call minimal techno repetitive?).  Yes I do play CDs.  How old school of me.  I actually run a tiny little night and we booked a young DJ once who said to me, "oh you play CDs, how cute", as she placed her USB stick into the CDJ.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, please can you temporarily cancel my account.  As David Cameron once said, "I'll Be Back".

Love, gravy-filled Yorkshire puddings and sorrow
James

*****

Hi James,
I thoroughly enjoyed your email and commend you on your stance and courage to leave the ratrace and go at it on your own.

We will however miss you as you’re one of our stalwarts and it’s a sad day when I finally  hit the cancel button on your membership. Please come back when you can. I’ll refund you this month’s charge which went out on Wednesday 1 March, as I was slack in carrying out your request.

All the best with everything!
fabric