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Wednesday, December 30, 2015

And That Was Christmas

I spoke to my French colleague today and she told me that it took her 3 hours door-to-door to get from her house in England to her house in France.

Well, on Christmas Eve, it took me 10 hours – 4 of those stuck between Grantham and Retford.

A joyous start to Christmas, but it was good to be back home, until my mother put on a church choir singing programme and I wished I was back on that train.  Things improved when we watched Caravan TV, which included the process for building a caravan.  Sky – 1,000 channels of shite.

Christmas Day was predictably pleasant.  I should start by thanking Mary and Moses for having sex 2,016 years ago, leading to this celebration of shopping.

I had some cracking gifts, including some new handkerchiefs and some pants.  I also got a bar of soap on a rope to keep under my bed until I move out.  Very soon hopefully.

One gift that was particularly impressive was this designer ring:


I’ve never had a ring before.  Do you think it suits me?  I’d be interested in your thoughts.

I should also mention that I am getting a tour of Westminster.  I have no idea why I have never been bought this gift before.  I do have quite some sister.

Speaking of which, I introduced her to cricket on Boxing Day.  I believe that she is now a big fan and that we are going to a 20/20 game in 2020.  Or maybe even in 2016.

We went to watch the football as a family.  I had planned on backing Hull City to win 3-0 but because the train was delayed by 4 hours, I decided that was a sign that we would win 4-0 so I backed 4-0.  We won 3-0 with a shot agonisingly close at the end of injury time to make it 4.  My heart hasn’t beat that fast since I was chased by fire-fighters as a teenager.

I was even allowed to cook the Boxing Day roast dinner.  My family were suitably impressed…the stuffing was particularly sensational.

Christmas was definitely good.

I successfully spent lots of money and ate far too much food.  Jesus would approve.