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Thursday, June 12, 2014

My World Cup Preview. In Gravy,

Brazil



Brazil Nut gravy, of course.

Though you would expect the legendary hosts to have something a bit more special.

Croatia



Pašticada – stewed beef served in special gravy sauce.  Going to be rather tough, maybe chewy.

Mexico



Tex-Mex chili gravy.  Should qualify for the next round.

Cameroon


Cameroon Beef with some kind of sauce - not quite gravy but then again Roger Milla wasn't quite a
38-year old player.

Spain


Paella with gravy.  Look at that formation - what a team.

Netherlands



Well the Dutch like to do things differently, so we have a graph about gravy.

Chile


Chile gravy.  Clearly copying their style from another well-known country on that continent, this gravy has the potential to go far, especially with that stylish boat, but face stiff competition to get out of their group.

Australia


Some excellent consistency but very patchy - I do not see how they are going to get out of their group with that kind of showing.

Columbia


Columbia have had to enter the competition with a gravy boat, a fine Wedgewood Columbia model, and also worth noting is that they have Nigella Lawson's cleavage in goal.

Be careful not to spill it into your own net or you might get shot.


Greece


Due to financial considerations, Greece have entered this classic but cheap looking gravy boat.  But once upon a time this could have been a surprise winner, albeit probably not against South American competition.

Ivory Coast


Missing the Ivory, this elephant gravy boat is the best the Cote D'Ivoire can do post-Drogba.

Japan


We expect the Japanese to be disqualified for entering too many players.

Uruguay


Suarez practising his gravy-diving.

Costa Rica


The bowl on the left is Costa Rica's entry from Rancho Margot Costa Rica Eco-Lodge.


And she might become Miss Universe.  We believe that she loves gravy.

Italy


Neapolitan ragù - normally one of the favourites but we cannot see it progressing far this time.

England


The Home of Gravy.  Is it time for gravy to come home after 46 years of hunger?

Switzerland


Chocolate gravy, of course!

Ecuador


Armada del Ecuador Navy Gravy Boat.

France



French fries in gravy.  Not got the depth of previous years.

Honduras


Such a violent country that they even have gravy guns.

Argentina


Gravy for cheats.  But still pretty damn excellent, just make sure you clean your hands first.

Bosnia & Herzegovina


Erm...you might need to use your imagination here.

Iran


One fine Persian gravy ladle.  Check underneath first in case of hidden uranium.

Nigeria


Your long-lost auntie will be sending you this gravy train worth millions of pounds, first please pay me £1,000.00 to 60-25-87 54789856.

Germany


Solid and consistent.  Could be a winner.

Portugal


Loco Moco - Portuguese sausage, eggs over easy, grilled onions and white rice - but can one star name make a team?

USA


Thanksgiving gravy.  You have to admire their effect and enthusiasm but it just isn't going to be a winner.

Ghana


Basic Ghanaian Gravy.

Belgium


Belgian waffles.  But is it gravy?

Algeria


Back to boats - a W.H. Grindley Algeria Gravy Boat.

Russia


Подливка

South Korea


Biscuit and sausage gravy apparently.  Bordering the insane.

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They think it's all gravy.  It is now.