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Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Rantety Rant, Rantety Rant

Lights on, ready please.

Don't you just love it when someone that is supposed to be one of your closest friends lets you down?!

I'm not going to name names or details for every Tom, Dick & Harry to read, but it is going to cost me hundreds of pounds that I don’t have.

More important than that, it was something that I was really excited about, the highlight of my year.

I will probably still go by myself, despite the additional totally unaffordable cost of going by oneself, and endeavour to have an even better adventure but I am totally fucked off about being let down.

I kind of knew it would happen though.  In the back of my mind, I always kind of expect people to let me down, I do find it very hard to trust someone 100%.

The reason is totally ridiculous but it was not of my choosing or doing – I admit that I am a touch stubborn and proud and will not be forced into apologising when I am not in the wrong (honest I'm actually not on this occasion!).  There is plenty I could expand on but won't.

What is most galling though is the simple dissolution of what is supposed to be a close friendship.  Friendships mean a lot to me, but clearly not always equally reciprocated.

I have had major fallings out with some of my closest friends before, of which I was usually at least part-responsible but they were always repairable over time.

This time is permanent.  Sometimes you have to say enough is enough.  One can only put so much effort into a friendship to get it thrown back in one's face.  What is the point of a friendship where you are constantly treading on eggshells?

Exasperating but there you go.  I am totally __________________.

Anyway, rant over, I have a lot of friends - 520 according to Facebook though that does include Nina Kraviz (she added me) and she still hasn't accepted any of my invites to see me DJ - I've been to see her ffs, so annoying when you put the effort in and it isn't returned.  Most of said friends are exceptional delights – I might not see many of them as much as I would like but that's life, and life can be a tad lonely sometimes.

Time for some consolationary cheese.

And yeah, a pint of gravy.

Onwards and upwards, over and out.  I shall go get my chequebook and pen.