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Friday, April 25, 2014

Come Back Sparkle



I seem to be missing my spark this week.

Normally I come back from Hull raring to go, delighted to be back in the comforts of the south, motivated to do well and work hard, happy and smiling as I see Thames Valley Business Park and shiny new blocks of flats in view from the train window, having escaped visions of rows of terraced houses with painted on adverts from the 1920’s, and a bread factory.

But this week I just been lethargic, tired, lacking enthusiasm, motivation and most noticeably not trying to be the centre of attention and trying to make people smile (or laugh at me) either at work with my ever so slightly inappropriate style of humour, and you may have noticed that my attempts at wit on Facebook have been very occasional as opposed to every 30 minutes.  Not that anyone goes on Facebook nowadays.  Are you all on Google Plus now?

I’m not unhappy.  Just fucking miserable.

That was a joke.  Did I make you laugh?

I shall have to analyse my lack of joviality in greater depth.  I guess I don’t really have to but there is nothing else I can be bothered to do during my lunch hour.  Working in Bracknell my lunch options are almost as limited as lunch options in Guantanamo Bay.

Clearly a major source of frustration is missing a cracking thunderstorm on Sunday.  4 days later and people were still banging on about it like…a thunderstorm bangs on.  I am no closer to saving up the £3,000.00 that I need to go storm chasing in America.  Though I can afford to buy myself a rolling pin.

Maybe I am just depressed from the ignominy of getting no matches on Tinder from the 5 minutes I used it at Doncaster station – Tinder certainly returns different results in East Yorkshire than Royal Berkshire.  It was only 5 minutes as 3G coverage is pretty rare in such backwaters.

It’s nearly 5 months since I went proper clubbing.  And no I don’t count 25 people in the garden of Zeus with banal deep house playing from each of the 25 different DJs as proper clubbing.  Cocoon, fabric, Secretsundaze, Fuse – nights with DJs that blow my mind.  5 fucking months.  Maybe I am back where I was 10 years ago where I need to find new clubbing buddies.  God that is a depressing thought.  Or maybe I will just have to go solo-clubbing.  Or am I too old for clubbing?

And how about the shock of Ricardo Villalobos leaving Cocoon?  Not playing for Cocoon any more.  I hope he is ok.  I guess the gossip will come out eventually.

Perhaps I am just missing the young lady that sits next to me at work who is on holiday at the moment.  She is scared of spiders, and clowns.  I have nobody to wind up with the thought of spider-clowns.  Yeah they exist.

 
It could just be possible that pissing people off for a living is no longer of great amusement.  Just fucking pay your bills...I wish I could say that.  I am getting bored of chasing the same people to sort out the same things week after week and getting ignored.

I definitely crave hugs.  And a mullet extension.  And more hugs.

I need a plan.  I need change.  Time for action.  Or just a plan.  And some action.

Therefore I have kicked myself up the arse.  I have bought a Euromillions ticket.  If I win the jackpot I will treat everyone I know to a weekend in Hull – even those on Facebook that I met once as I am sure that I would suddenly hear from you a lot more if I became a millionaire.  Not that I would actually tell anyone if I won, though I guess the invite to Hull would give it away.

I chose my numbers from an e-mail from a really annoying customer that I received this morning.

I have also bought some leopard-print trainers.


You know I am a style icon.

I have a ticket to the FA Cup Final.  Yes Hull City in the FA Cup final.  Only £88.33 to see history.  Hull City in the FA Cup final.  Karma for experiencing defeat to Hednesford back in 1997 (though where is my karma for my lack of recent sexlife?)  Silverware, we don’t care.  Hull City in the FA Cup final.  And all of the right-thinking footballing world will be supporting us, like one billion Hull City fans.  And no mention of the stupid name change, has it gone away forever?  Did I mention that Hull City are in the FA Cup final for the first time ever and I will be there?

I have paid for my holiday to Croatia.  Let’s hope I don’t have to wait until August to see the likes of Ricardo Villalobos, tINI, Bella Sarris, Loco Dice, Seth Troxler, Dixon, Alexandra, Apollonia, Marcel Dettmann, Yaya, Zip and a whole load more.

Most importantly though I need to concentrate on my future career.  I don’t want to be a credit controller forever.  I really must get an action plan together to get that changed.  I can feel a separate blog post coming on that subject.

Sadly I have run out of time to ramble on any more so I will leave my 3 dear readers with a spot of disco.


It being a Friday afternoon and people only pretend to work I might actually get 5 readers.