Friday, February 28, 2014

Goodbye Detox

So did I manage a month of detox?

Yes.  Kind of.  One minor infraction on the home straight but we aren’t even talking half a unit of alcohol.

Many doubted me but I knew I would be fine.  I am in a determined kind of mood at the moment, inspired to achieve my goals especially since I now have Margaret watching over me.

It was difficult to resist temptation at times.  On the first day in a pub in Shoreditch, I really wanted a drink to go with Sunday lunch.  When we had our house Christmas dinner there was wine open in front of me.  I had a real craving for a glass of wine but I knew it would be game over if I succumbed.  I didn’t even dare go into a nightclub.

So now it is effectively over, what did I notice?

I didn’t really expect a health boost as I am hardly a raging alcoholic but I do feel a bit more alive.  I was kind of hoping I might feel like an 18 year-old again.  Alas this is not the case.
I found it much easier to wake up earlier than I needed to, to do some studying.  Consequently I did more studying than for some time, including finishing my DJing website.
Social engagements don’t always require alcohol.  Though they are more fun with stimulation.
My bank balance improved.  By about £450.  Albeit only to zero.
I didn’t waste any weekend days spending all day in bed hanging.
I didn’t really get bored at any point, in fact I had a busier social life.
I lost a little bit of weight.  Though I actually lost more weight in January!
I have probably been slightly happier – no silent Mondays or comedown Tuesdays - but very few highs.  Just consistently quite happy - no roller-coasters.
Disappointingly, I farted less.

I quite enjoyed it but I bloody well cannot wait for a beer.

I am going to do this every year from now.  Maybe even twice a year as it is clearly a good way to save up for something I wouldn’t normally be able to afford – like a holiday for example.

Anyway it is soon time for a drink and I like breaking rules so I am going to have a drink before March.  Fuck it.  My detox.  My rules.  I am amazing.  I love being me.

I would be delighted if anyone joined me in getting well and truly intoxicated tonight.  Especially 10pm to 11:30pm when I shall be playing really sobering minimal at a night which has the d-word in it's title.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Priorities For Government

I had an e-mail recently from the Tories asking me what my top 3 priorities for this country are.

I think I picked housing, deficit/debt and welfare.  I cannot remember for definite, it doesn't really matter for this post.

What amused me is that a Labour-voting friend then received something similar a week later:


We are the party of the many.

Ed Miliband and our whole team here are clear: our policies and vision for Britain must be grounded in the ideas, lives and views of as many Labour supporters as possible.

As of now, that includes you, ****.

So tell us: which of these national issues do you think is the most important facing Britain?

Thank you for making the Labour movement stronger by sharing your views with us.

Best wishes,

Harriet Harman
Deputy Leader of the Labour Party

Unsubscribe from Labour HQ emails. We won't pass on your email address to anyone else: see our privacy policy. Reproduced from an email sent by the Labour Party, promoted by and on behalf of the Labour Party at One Brewer's Green, London SW1H 0RH.

And yes that is what the e-mail looked like.  A 3-year old could design something better.

But most importantly have you noticed what the Labour Party don't think is a national issue?


Yes the world-famous deficit denying party does not think it is an issue.

Labour = More Debt.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Facing Up To My Deepest Fear

There is one thing in this world that I fear even more than erectile disfunction and that is another Labour government.

Sadly for me, and those who don't enjoy recessions, this is a possibility in 2015, according to the polls.

Yes, these men could be running the country.


But every cloud has a silver lining or two:

1. David Cameron wouldn't be the leader of the Conservative Party any more.  Either Gideon or Boris would.  Boris.  Yes, Boris could be on the next step of the ladder to World Leader.

2. Erm, more debt, more recession, more misery, more lies, more deceit.  Maybe just one silver lining then.  Unless you are a banker that is good at betting on economic downfalls.

I guess I could go live in another country.  I don't think I can handle another 5 years of the country I love being destroyed.

Be afraid.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Lower Inflation - When To Worry?

So inflation has reduced again, now to 1.9%.

Taken as good news – prices are therefore rising at a slightly lower rate than a month ago.  They may even soon be rising at less than wages are.

But at what point does a reduction in inflation become bad news?

Deflation has to be something for the Bank of England to cautiously watch for.  You may think deflation – falling prices – is a good thing.

However, if prices are falling, consumers and firms put off purchases in the expectations that prices will fall further, and firms will then have to reduce prices more, less is produced, less is purchased, there is less requirement for employment and voila - you have a recession.

This is especially pertinent with the consumer-led recovery that we are experiencing in the UK.

Japan's economy since the early 1990's is a very interesting case in which we should follow.  They are only just getting out of their deflationary spiral.  There is a very interesting section on the Wikipedia page about Japan.

There is a way that the Bank of England can increase inflation which is to reduce interest rates.  Well, that is if there was any room to lower them, which at 0.5% there isn’t.  Not effectively anyway.  Or print yet more money.

Or the government can borrow more and go on a spending spree to stimulate the economy out of deflation.  Except we have a horrendous debt as it is and it isn't proven to reverse deflation.

It could get rather interesting in a year or two if inflation continues to fall.  Fingers crossed it stabilises.  Below 1% and time to get concerned.

Friday, February 14, 2014

To The One I Love Most In The World...

If I cannot treat the one I love most in the whole world today, when can I?

Yes two Sirloin steaks for the bargain price of £4 all for myself.

If you are a hot chick reading this, don't even think about worming your way into my Valentine's plans tonight, I wouldn't even share them in exchange for a blow job.

I did have a little love for those around me so I bought my colleagues some Love Hearts.

And finally I treat myself to a very overpriced bit of heart-shaped chocolate with little bits on it that are all over the floor near my desk and will be until the lease is up on this office building and they owners need to find new tenants, as we don't have cleaners (except for the toilets which I guess is kind of useful).

Kisses and hugs if you are hot, handshakes if not xxx

Thursday, February 06, 2014

The Detox

The aim is for all of February – no intoxicants, not even caffeine.

Why the fuck am I doing a detox?  I used to be a proper party animal.  Friday to Sunday - Mango, after-party, pub breakfast, all day session, quick shower, Mango, after-party, Sunday lunch beers and finally to bed for a 14 hour sleep before work.  Always going out, always clubbing, always partying.  Granted I am too old and eminently sensible for that kind of regime now!

I have come to the conclusion that after nearly 20 years of drinking every weekend, normally heavily (though less so in recent years), my body and my internal organs may appreciate a rest.

There are other reasons too.

I need to finish paying back my overdraft.
I want to spend more time on web design and studying for it.
More time for catching up with non-clubbing friends.

Can I do it?

I think it will be fairly easy for the first half of the month but temptation will increasingly irritate me and I reckon the last two weekends will be difficult.

I have never gone more than 7-10 days without a drink since about the age of 15 (maybe except the time at college when I had severe pneumonia, but then I had steroids so that doesn't really count…oh they were good!).

So it is also a challenge, a change of behavioural patterns.  I am confident that I will achieve my goal.

I am hoping to feel good at the end of it but I am kind of expecting to ironically end up with severe manful, headaches, leprosy and trench foot.

Maybe I will love sobriety and never drink again?

Ha ha ha.