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Thursday, October 31, 2013

Halloween Is Shit

Only Valentine’s Day tops Halloween in my experience in terms of loathed moronic celebrations.

But it isn’t just the pointless aberration of the day itself – the impact of an allegedly scary day did impact upon me very significantly:

1. Someone sat on the train seat that I wanted to sit on.  He looked scary so I chose not to start a fight with him.
2. Morrisons didn’t have any Goldenfry Gravy.  Any.  They look like they have stopped selling it.
3. Ok I am struggling now but you get my point.    

Halloween is an event designed to encourage child begging.

Further to that it is full of people doing fancy dress.  I hate fancy dress.  I avoid all opportunities for fancy dress and hence will be avoiding all social events vaguely related to Halloween (though one day I may surprise you all with the ultimate fright - perhaps as a schoolgirl with a Gordon Brown mask...if that image does not scare you then google images of blue waffles).

This is a festival of witches, ghosts, spiders, blood, vampires, socialists, Jimmy Saville lookalikes and more child beggars.

Why celebrate such ghastly things?  Do you see anyone celebrating the existence of Slough?  No you do not.

On the bright side we had some scary Waitrose chocolate bites at work, brought in by the best financial controller that I have ever worked for (yeah I think she reads my blog occasionally).

Anyway to Halloween I have one thing to say to you, and not just because I haven't been invited to any house parties:


Do one.