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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Simon Cowell's DJ X-Factor

So, Simon Cowell is going to do an X-Factor for DJs.

Yippee.

I heard this yesterday, and the natural reaction is to think about the pain that is X-Factor and the abhorrent, abominable verbal impedimenta that displays itself in an audio form from anything that he touches (Michelle McManus, anyone?  Yes I did have to use Wikipedia to remember anyone) and say:

However, I didn't want to be so hasty, so I had a little think about it.

Firstly and most sensibly, do you really expect that any underground DJ worth his salt is going to seriously attempt to reach fame and fortune on this show?  No.  There is a huge different between types of DJs, not just in music, but in styles.  There are rockstars and there are quiet underground DJs.  Look at John Digweed - he is very popular and has maintained this for a long time and his face never moves whilst DJing.  Simon Cowell would hate him.

Most underground DJs probably have a club they would love to play in, whether that be fabric, Berghain, Rex Club, whatever - going on this show and doing well/winning and becoming famous would probably almost eliminate any chance of actually ever DJing in that club.  And most DJs are fully aware of that.

So, it will not ruin our cosy little underground clubbing thing that we have going on.

Secondly.  X-Factor is shite.  Anyone who has had to witness this anathema of human life will realise.  Yes, I am sure the same products of our schooling system will now change career paths from pop star to dj (note the lower case) but is this really a bad thing?  If this country ever descends into some kind of socialist oppressive state once more which it will eventually do because as a country we never learn then I would prefer to be tortured with bad DJing than bad singing.  Give me clashing beats and horrific electro riffs any day over some ghastly three-piece identikit boyband all trying to tell me they love me, slightly out of sync with each other.

Yes, Saturday night TV may soon feature pricks trying to outdj each other with their hairstyles.  It could actually be vaguely watchable.  Could.  I ain't getting excited.

And maybe it will bring a bit more acceptability to the general public about having DJs around, ie maybe more pubs might be encouraged to have DJs (hello local pub please employ me to DJ).  Thanks.

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