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Monday, July 11, 2011

Goodbye News Of The World (And A Word About Jimmy Bullard)

I see that the news of the world has had it's final edition printed.

Oh well, I don't really care.


Onto a much finer publication, the revered Amber Nectar - for the 99.9% of my blog readers who are not Hull City fans (yet) this is an excellent website covers the (Inland Revenue unpaid tax bill court) trials, traumas and the one trophy, of life following Hull City.  It regularly makes me chuckle and puts a smile on my face, with a quite typical Hull sense of humour (I find it hilarious anyway).

It seems a local non-league club, North Ferriby, which Tigers fans have quite an affinity for, not only for selling us my ultimate non-DJing hero, Dean Windass, are having financial difficulties.  Summed up quite nicely with an excellent suggestion as to how Hull City can help.

"The news of financial trouble at North Ferriby makes for some sad reading. They’re a wonderful little club and the annual trip to Church Road is one of the best away games of any year. City’s recent ‘success’ may have been to Ferriby’s detriment, as those Tiger Nationals who’d go to Ferriby when the Tigers were away had the option of watching the City game on an internet feed or on Albanian TV in a pub instead. Ferriby are charging £9 for a home game this coming season, a move designed to reduce the shortfall but one that may backfire and deter floating fans. City should fine Jimmy Bullard a weeks wages for having crap hair and channel it to Ferriby."

Yes, some dickhead not only paid £5million for Jimmy Bullard but also gave him a 5-year contract reportedly worth £45,000.00 a week.  I don't think anyone in Hull earns that in a year.  That is enough to buy a house every week in Hull and still have enough money left over to go to Cocoon In The Park (an annual techno festival in Leeds for the 0.01% of my readers who are Hull City fans and still think that bloody awful 'News Of The World' song is a musical masterpiece) to ensure the 10,000 or so punters have an equally messy and enjoyable time as he is rumoured to have had on occasions.  Seemingly the same regularity of the amount of times I have a messy night...4 in a row this weekend, oops, no wonder my body is falling apart today.  But I don't have to play football.  I can get away with it as long as I do the work expected of me and don't fall asleep at my desk.

I digress.  When was the last post I didn't do that?

Despite how badly let down I feel by Jimmy Bullard, his dodgy knees and a seeming lack of motivation whenever I have seen him play and from match reports, and I suspect that the club hierarchy are not innocent angels with regards to the situation, I still believe that he is one of the best players in the Championship when fit and interested.  Clearly Ipswich fans agree as they voted him their player of the season despite just playing 16 games for them on loan.

I don't expect 46 games from him.  20 will suffice.  I don't expect him to go flying into challenges - he is better at doing the creative side of the midfield.

Hull City management and Jimmy Bullard should go to Ibiza (allegedly he was spotted in Pacha the other weekend - good for him), do a couple of pills, hug and tell each other how much they love each other.

I am more than happy to go out with them and play the role of mediator if they pay for my flights, a villa and my vodka fanta limons (I cannot afford two trips to Ibiza with said drinks at €25 a glass in one year), I'll have a word with my mate Sven and get us into the VIP area at Cocoon.  Actually, he might be quite busy at the moment with his touring schedule, so we can just bribe the security with a few hundred euros each and make sure we take a couple of hot young and particularly friendly women with us to keep them happy.  If you can arrange for them to stay at my villa, that would do nicely.

Have I digressed again?  Sorry...this is what happens after about 10 hours sleep in 4 nights and the odd beer or 100.

My point is that as long as us Hull City fans lower our expectations a bit, Jimmy has the opportunity to actually make use of the remaining two years of his contract and become a footballing hero once again.  A part that his cheeky loveable side which seems to have been lost in a haze, clearly enjoys being.  Maybe a supporters night with Jimmy can get a few questions resolved and a bit of forgiveness, I am sure many will appreciate it...if he has the balls.

Plenty of time to come when he retires to Sky Sports to commentate on non-league football matches alongside Dean Windass, to party all he likes and if he helps get us promoted back to the Premier League, which he is capable of being instrumental of, I am sure that he would be toasted by many a Hull City fan forever...just like Deano is.

Come on Jimmy, sort it out.