Friday, April 30, 2010

My Friday Potion

I came back from work a little tired and deflated, I needed a pick me up, I consumed one or two of them and now I am good to go.

All legal. All free.

Die Vogel - Blaue Moschee
(I apologise to any German readers for my lack of umlauts but I don't know how to do them) - a super uplifting trumpet techno track

Cocoon Ibiza Party Animals Video - yes I have posted it before but it is so enjoyable I am posting it again!

And this 10 minute video of Cocoon in Ibiza, circa 2005 at a guess, is rather impressive.

All enough to get me going - I hope you appreciate too :-)

Does Boris Johnson Like Techno?

They article in the link says that Boris Johnson does not have Sky TV but is a techno enthusiast. Though it does then talk about technology.

Not quite sure if Boris is more a Sven Vath man or Richie Hawtin man - or James Dyson man but the image of Boris and Sven on a dancefloor - or even better around a dinner table, is rather appealing!

Thursday, April 29, 2010


For those of you that have not spent much time up North, Rochdale is a very typical place.

Population of 95,796, unemployment of around 6% (according to the Rochdale Observer, the rate soared from 7505 to 7657 in August 2009), situated near Manchester but with none of Manchester's style.

The football team was finally promoted from the bottom division this year, having spent about 35 seasons in it with no promotion or relegation to talk of - some football fans affectionately call League 2 "The Rochdale Division".

John Peel used to live there for a while.

And now, Gordon Brown hopefully has had his final nail pinned to his politican coffin in this endearing little town.

See - good things do come from up North!

Music To Download/Listen in April

Here we go again, rather a few tasty morsels coming up

Monika Kruse at Timewarp
Chris Liebing at Timewarp
Sven Vath
Dominik Eulberg
Matthias Tanzmann
Plastikman at Timewarp
DJ Hell, DJ T, Tiefschwarz, M.A.N.D.Y vs Mathew Dear vs Damian Lazarus, Heidi - all at Miami Get Physical Party
Reboot Live
Claude Vonstroke
Ewan Pearson
Der Dritte Raum
Booka Shade
Martin Buttrich
Dominic Eulberg
Last but not least - Sven Vath at Timewarp :-)

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Gillian Duffy


A 65-year old woman from Rochdale, has possibly had a massive hand in rescuing this country from ruin.

The link in the title explains the incident and there are nice little BBC videos too.

I want to say thank you to Gillian Duffy, for giving us a chance to show Gordon Brown as he really is.

How anyone can still want Gordon Brown as a leader after such a disrespectful remark (in case you only read my blog and not the news, he said she was a bigot, off camera, microphone still attached), is completely beyond me.

If I were a newspaper editor next week, I would be offering sums of money to Gillian Duffy for an interview and an explanation of how she will vote, considering she is a life-long Labour voter and has just been mortally offended by their disgraced leader.


Updated Weather Forecast

Well that is it. Pay-back for a cold horrible winter done. Now we can get back to normal.

Some bits of rain on Thursday, rain or showers on Friday and Saturday, possibly quite heavy at times on Friday but nothing too heavy. Sunday the rain might continue though it should brighten up later in the day. Monday should be bright, with the odd shower.

Temperatures are going to take a fall too, Thursday and Friday will be no higher than 15'C, probably lower. Saturday 13-15'C. Sunday you will notice a particularly cold wind, 8-10'C. Monday a marginal improvement.

I have to say that I don't know what is going to happen from there. I don't think it will be hugely wet next week but I don't expect it to get any warmer than 11'C.

It depends as to the location of the high pressure which will develop in the Atlantic over the weekend. To the north, then expect wind and rain from the west, though there will be some sunny days in between where it could be pleasant, around 15'C. Less on wet days.

If it develops more to the south, then expect an easterly wind, just like we had lots of during winter. Still a cold direction (until Russia heats up later in May), though more showery than wet.

My prediction was for a wet and warm May. Not going to start that way though.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Tory-Labour Coalition?

Ok here is one for you.

The election looks likely to return more Conservative MPs than Labour or Liberal Democrats (not definite of course but lets assume for now).

If the Liberal Democrats are not willing to support a minority Conservative government and would rather support a Labour government, what is stopping the Conservatives governing with Labour? After all, Nick Clegg stated in the first debate that they are sounding more and more like each other.

Both sides of course would have conditions.

Conservatives would without doubt want rid of Gordon Brown (and much of Labour probably do too!). Labour would want some prime positions - Alastair Darling could conceivably remain as Chancellor as it wasn't him who fucked up the economy, that was Gordon Brown. George Osborne does not fill everyone with endearment. Ken Clarke would have to replace the ghastly Lord Mandelson at Business Secretary (who the fuck gave him that title?). Labour could also perhaps look after the NHS and Conservatives education as they have some very interesting and promising ideas.

And neither party would have to cede to a Liberal Democrat demand of proportional representation which would give both parties less MPs than currently.

Is it possible?!

Could a Conservative work with a Gordon Brown-free Labour party?

Would it secure business leader's confidence?

An interesting idea...I could live with it.

I Love Aeroplane

It is not often I deem necessary to post a link to just one set - however I am truly loving this Essential Mix from Aeroplane. Lots of space disco and some 80's moments - very uplifting and summery. And the link in the title is to listen live, you don't have to download.

Aeroplane produced probably the only decent Mixmag CD of last year and one of my most listened to CDs of the year. Soundtrack to the lovely chilled out summer moments at the villa in Ibiza.

Not only that, they have popularised a whole new sound, loosely known by some like me as Space Disco, and by others as Nu-Disco (yuck!) and a much slower form of music than house or techno.

Thoroughly recommended :-)

Monday, April 26, 2010

Attention Arseholes

When I open a door for you, I expect a thank you.

When I open two doors for you, I also expect a thank you. One will do for both doors.

No thank you and you can fuck right off.

Ipod Death

Well my ipod (yes I call it an ipod as most people don't know what a Creative Zen is so I have to explain unless I call it an ipod) finally died yesterday after 2 years of heavy use.

So not only did I have to do part of the train journey back to Reading yesterday without music, I had to go to work this morning without music and in place I had banal conversations around me on the bus. Tonight I will have to go food shopping without music.

How will I survive? Bear in mind that I probably spend no more than an hour of my time awake on an average day without music.

Still I have purchased a new Creative Zen. Why, considering the last two broke after just 2 years of use? Why not an ipod? Well they are half the price. And allegedly have better sound quality. But I cannot use Facebook on them. Oh shit. Time to upgrade to a Smart-phone then.

Oh and I am rather anti-Apple as I don't want to be part of the cool crowd. Never had an Apple product and still don't need one. Not even an Iphone!

But how will I survive 2 hours a day without music?

Saturday, April 24, 2010


Some people may question why an Economist-reading, upper-class Tory-wannabe who devotes most of his life to the search of the perfect party (nightclub or political!) would support a working-class football team like Hull City.

Well I was born there.

But I think there is a little bit more than that. Coming from a pretty down-trodden place like Hull, there is a certain element of satisfaction and enjoyment taken from misery, especially when it is your own. Not in a personal way, but in the things around you, and nothing could really project a sense of misery more than supporting Hull City as I was growing up.

2 relegations, 6 men in defence under the most miserable management of Terry Dolan, and many a con-man running the club. I used to enjoy paying £3 to stand with about 4000 other fans playing Lincoln City and Macclesfield on a freezing cold Saturday with the wind off the North Sea blowing through the dilapidated Boothferry Park (or Fer Ark as it was affectionately known due to the amount of letters on the sign whose light bulbs had long expired).

Not only was the football played abjectly shite, with hoofball being the common theme - the managers were so clueless, such as the dismal afore-mentioned Terry Dolan who didn't even notice a bright orange sticker placed on his bald match during one game with the immortal words "Sack Dolan".

But yet there was a strange sense of enjoyment.

Somehow Phil Brown got us promoted to the Premiership two years ago, via the play-offs, having started the season looking like it could turn into a relegation battle. And then once in the Premiership, we made it to joint top with a lower goal difference.

Not really satisfactory though. Much better was to subsequently go on a long winless run and survive relegation by the skin of our teeth, only by Newcastle being even worse than we were.

This season was a struggle but we were looking ok, looked like we would survive as we had got through the difficult games. But much better to sack Phil Brown, the manager who saved us from relegation in the Championship, got us promoted, took us to Wembley, kept us up in the Premiership, and replace him with Ian Dowie, the ugliest man in football, so we would find it much harder to stay up.

And much harder we did.

Today's defeat confirms relegation, unless of course over the last two games, we can overcome a goal difference of 23 in the last two games (bear in mind our combined strike force has scored 9 all season). Or one of the teams above us goes into administration.

Which is good. Next year we will get to play 8 more games, we will probably win more. And play more random long balls and maybe get a few more out of the stadium. We will get to play real teams like Scunthorpe and Doncaster, rather than the pseudo-footballers that the likes of Chelsea and Man City employ. And we won't have to put up with Arsenal cheating or Wenger moaning.

And we get to show my adopted home town, Reading, what a real football team does.

Bring on the Championship - but lets not win too many games and please please keep Ian Dowie as I much prefer having a shit clueless manager (reminds me of work last year!).

Friday, April 23, 2010

Leaders Debate Number 2 - I Have An Opinion!

Well, I enjoyed that debate last night, especially the first 45 minutes which was on International Affairs as it was billed.

Why it went back to questions which were very similar to the week before, I do not know. That disappointed me.

What tickled me most is that last week Gordon Brown was doing everything he could to cosy up to Nick Clegg, but this week he was attacking him at every opportunity.

If the country cannot see through how duplicitous and abhorrent Gordon Brown is, then we deserve everything he has brung and will bring.

I actually have quite a bit of sympathy for Labour supporters, as much as I might disagree with their general idealogy, they have a desperate, dispickable dictator leading them, who doesn't represent what they believe, he just represents himself. But none of the other parties are representing them either.

Unlike disaffected ex-Conservatives who think they are too left-wing - they can vote for UKIP. If you believe in socialism and traditional Labour values then you really don't actually have anyone to vote for.

Anyway, back to the plot (ho ho ho is there a plot?), I think David Cameron did well last night and I am satisfied.

I still think there is a lot to play for and I suspect that there will be an event that will change things. Perhaps a natural disaster, perhaps a terrorist incident, or an economic shock...perhaps the passing away of dear Maggie Thatcher?

She is a frail old woman who arouses deep passions of gratitude and anger across society. Imagine if she passed away during the next couple of weeks. What would be the consequences? Would she get a state funeral as had been previously suggested? How would the argument about it affect voting intentions?

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Cocoon Ibiza - Party Animals

So the theme for Cocoon Ibiza this year is 'Party Animals'.

Some people question why a club night should have a theme - isn't all about the music?

Sure, it would be nothing without the music but I'm all for a little silliness and entertainment, whenever I go to Cocoon especially in Ibiza, there is always something going on around me, it is impossible to get bored, always something to look at - whether that be new dancers, crazy costumes, videos, lighting effects, Sven being...well...Sven.

And this encourages the crowd to be more entertaining in themselves too. And it makes the most amazing party atmosphere. Anyone who knows me will know how much of a dislike I have for any kind of fancy dress but for Cocoon closing party last year, I did feel the need to have glittery stuff on my eyes and face (sadly no photos). No-one else has persuaded me to dress up!

Anyway, video in the title link for the making of the Cocoon photo-shoot - anyone who loves Cocoon will love the video. And those of you that don't know what Cocoon is all about, well you are seriously missing out (but don't tell everyone as Amnesia in Ibiza only holds 6000 people).

So the only question left is, will I finally be allowed in with a football shirt on?

Boobquake - Idea of the Century?

Brilliant, just brilliant.

Following some religious guy in Iran accusing women of causing earthquakes by dressing immodestly, a group of women (numbering 35,000 on Facebook as I speak) have decided to show their cleavage on Monday 26th April 2010 to test the theory to see if their boobs can cause an earthquake.

Or Boobquake as it is to be know.

Unfortunately with approximately 32,000,000 women on the planet, this means that currently only approximately 1 in 9000 women will have their breasts pertruding in a pleasing manner.

However, given that it going to be lovely and warm here on Monday, there should be a good chance of it being the most excellent Monday in a long time.

Roll on Boobquake day :-)

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Updated Weather Forecast

So is the weather going to stay like it is now?

The answer is no. It is going to get warmer.

It is a bit chilly today and will be tomorrow. Friday it should be up to 15'C, Saturday 17'C, Sunday 19'C, Monday 21'C, Tuesday to Thursday up to 24'C.

At some point after that during the bank holiday weekend it looks like significantly cooler weather with some rain should come down from the north to replace the beautiful weather next week. Currently looks like Saturday but maybe it might hold out a bit longer, fingers crossed.

But for the next week it looks pretty much like wall-to-wall sunshine - the only exception might be Sunday with the chance of a shower, which would most likely be a bit heavy and perhaps thundery. But note the emphasis is very much on the word "chance".

Happy days, summer is here already :-)

I Agree With Nick Shock!

So Nick Clegg has said that Gordon Brown is "a desperate politician". Tell me something I didn't previously know.

But it means that I finally can say "I agree with Nick"!

The main thing that worries me about the sudden popularity of Nick Clegg is that it means a hung parliament is a much more likely outcome than an outright Conservative victory.

However, Nick Clegg previously said he would work with whoever has the greatest electoral mandate - and Labour have the 3rd highest at the moment.

As much as I want a clear Conservative victory, I am not totally anti Lib-Dems and would accept a sharing of power between the Conservatives and Lib-Dems as an acceptable second-best solution - as it would mean rid of Gordon Brown.

The scariest likely option is that Nick Clegg decides to share power with Gordon Brown - 5 more years of Gordon Brown is too scary a prospect. But these comments give hope that this would not happen.

And did anyone note that there was some kind of vague embrace between Nick Clegg and David Cameron at the end of the debate on Thursday, whilst Gordon Brown walked off. Maybe they have hatched a plot together to ensure that Gordon Brown is disposed of - after all I am sure that the Conservatives would rather have the Lib Dems as the second party than the country/economy-destroying Labour party.

Roll on 7th May and a new leadership please! Take me with you David (and Nick too if you must)

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Gay Footballers

Well who would have thought it - there are homosexual footballers. This is perhaps a little too shocking to many of the ill-educated persons who line the terraces each and every Saturday, slavishly spending £50 for 2 hours of so-called entertainment (the same people who moan that the footballers get paid too much, well I wonder why).

I always knew that rugby players were predominantly homosexual (union ones anyway - rugby league players being mainly northern are clearly all heterosexual). But footballers? I have to say I am mildly impressed.

Babies At Work

Seriously. What ever possesses someone to bring their new-born baby into work? Why would you come in to disrupt the working time of many a hard-working former-colleague (or the concentration of someone writing on Facebook)? It's not exactly as if any of them requested you to visit or have been to visit your baby. They probably even forgot to send you a congratulations card.

Or do you just do it to torment your ex-colleagues? Hello, look at me, I've been out relaxing, enjoying the sunshine, and I get paid for it.

Or maybe you just do it to say to the men that you never used to like at work who constantly perved at your breasts until you put on a ton of weight "ha ha you might have your social life devastated by one of these one day".

Though I have to admit that having seen my friend's Shaun and Kellie's baby Amelie a few times now, I am no longer petrified of such tiny dragon's and may well be coming round to thinking they are cute, even if my attempts at in depth political conversations quickly come to ruin in place of "Hello, little baby, ga ga, goo goo".

Perhaps I should have a little more sympathy though as any ex-colleagues of mine who decided it was a brilliant idea to have a baby will have subsequently been reduced to such basic communication levels and are probably craving the deeply intellectual and inspiring levels of conversation that I regularly provide to those around me, and that is why they come back into the office.

I will think about amending my views. But a better idea would be to invite me round for dinner, I am always appreciative of not having to cook. Don't expect me to hold the baby though unless you want 15 minutes of screaming and crying. And the baby wouldn't like it either.

Volcanic Panic & The Argument for Closer European Integration

I am increasingly convinced that as time goes on, many more questions will have to be answered as to why the panic over the volcano was so necessary and ended up causing so many problems, damaging the profitability of airlines, damaging an already weak economy, stranding hundreds of thousands of people across the world.

We are not without precedent in the modern world. I have not yet died from BSE, the Millennium Bug or Swine Flu. I am confident that I could have got on any aeroplane over Europe and survived (maybe except really close to Iceland).

I believe that some European body sets the regulations about volcanic ash and it is up to the individual flight space authorities as to whether they follow them or not but it is expected that they do follow them. The problem being in my eyes that I doubt whether the body that sets the regulations have ever flown a plane or being involved with the airline industry.

In America, they only have one authority to set the rules and to decide whether it is safe to fly which makes things much more simple. Perhaps in Europe we should also only have one aviation authority - scary though this means greater European integration.

Perhaps surprisingly for a Conservative, I am all for further European integration. However I am dead against the undiplomatic way it is foisted upon us - see the undemocratic way the Lisbon Treaty was foisted upon us. Gordon Brown promised us a referendum but didn't actually give one - apparently we did not want it. Erm...

Unfortunately Europe as an institution has damaged itself and needs to repair itself.

By the way, only about 50% of our laws are decided by Europe - as opposed to 80% as UKIP would have you believe. I really do not appreciate the damage they would like to do to Britain by threatening to take us out of the European Union - our largest trading partner.

Anyway, enough politics for now...

Monday, April 19, 2010

Jim'll Advise That Microsoft Can Fix It For You

I have just come across this little Microsoft programme which helps to fix things when one's computer goes wrong.

This might save me time investigating in the future.

Volcano Insurance

Ah, Family Guy. Youtube video link in title. For once, I don't need to say any more.

Cocoon In The Arse

How infuriating is it that Cocoon Ibiza are releasing their Ibiza dates with the accompanying headliners one by one?

Each day they are announced via the website on the title link which takes about 10 years to actually give you the information, if you have actually manager to remember to click on it at the correct time.

I'm sure someone is collecting them but I would have thought most people would be severely bored by now.

I don't think I have ever had cause to complain about Cocoon before as it is just like the best thing since sliced bread and my life would not be the same without it.

But seriously Cocoon guys (who I am sure are not actually going to read this but hey), get out of your back-sides, nobody wants to hear a new line-up every single day, just release them all on one day and be done with it.

Boring. Boring. Boring.

I'm still going though.

Caversham Court Gardens

The title link shows photos and videos (not mine) of where I spent some very relaxing time yesterday in the sunshine, in my own back-yard of Reading.

The gardens have an interesting history of which I have copied and pasted from Friends of Caversham Court Gardens


Caversham Court garden is of national importance and listed in the English Heritage Gardens Register.

Its history goes back to the 12th century when a Rectory was built there for St Peter’s Church. However it was found more profitable to lease the house to a layman who was responsible for providing a priest. The building was damaged during the Civil War when in 1642 Caversham was caught between the armies of Charles I (the Cavaliers) and of Cromwell (the Roundheads).

The yew hedge was planted in the 17th century. Around 1840, the Simonds family, Reading’s banking and brewing family, built a splendid Gothic mansion and renamed it Caversham Court. In the early 20th century the house had several owners and gradually declined until it was bought by the local authority in 1933. The house was demolished and the grounds opened to the public in 1934.

During WW2 the allotments were established for the 'Dig for Victory’ campaign. Public air-raid shelters (Anderson Shelters) were built in the gardens - you can see one of these near the entrance.

In 2006 Reading Borough Council won funding from the Heritage Lottery for the restoration of these historic gardens.


For those of you in Reading, I thoroughly recommend a visit if you fancy a relaxing afternoon.

I'm A Stats Freak

Are you interested in who else reads my incredibly inciteful writings? Probably not as interested as I am, because I am a little bit of a geek at heart.

But I'm going to tell you some stats anyway.

In total I have had up to 18th April 2010, a total of 140 unique visitors. 21% of visitors come from the links I post to my Facebook wall. 27% come directly to the blog. 7% found the blog on a Google search - the remainder came from listings on blog sites.

The most unique visitors I have had on a single day is 17 - I equalled my record yesterday. It does tend to be when I have blogged about something topical like Cheryl Cole or volcanoes that I get the most visitors.

Finally it may not be a surprise that 95% of my visitors come from the UK. As I expect my blog to mainly be read by friends and acquitancies, this is not really a shock.

However I have had visitors from 10 different countries/territories; UK, USA, Netherlands, France, Germany, Spain, Russia, Israel, Italy and Gibraltar (hi Ashely!).

My words are spreading, ha ha ha!!!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Volcanic Panic Update

The Complainers have made a song about it - youtube clip link in the title.

Oh and British Airways amongst others are doing test flights.

All I can say is - man-up and get those planes back in the air

Volcanic Panic

You don't need me to point out that right now one of the major news stories is the after-effects of the volcanic eruption on Iceland, called Eyjafjallajoekull. No I have no idea how to pronounce it. And yes I copied and pasted the name rather than learned how to spell it.

I am concerned about the loss to the economy about the on flying.

Yes, there have been incidents in the past where engines on aeroplanes have cut out when going through clouds of volcanic ash and they had to be rescued from certain disaster by excellent piloting skills. There may have been plane crashes caused by volcanic ash that I am not aware of.

So I can see why the danger exists and it would not be a good idea to fly directly through a volcanic ash cloud.

But the UK is 1000km away from the eruption, and distance from the source of the volcano will surely make the cloud less dense and therefore less dangerous? Certainly, other parts of Europe are even further away.

Add on to that, there are probably surgeons stuck 1000's of miles away on holiday islands that need to get back to perform planned life-saving operations. There will be loved ones separated for far longer than required. There may be DJs not able to go to clubs to save clubbers lives (last night a DJ saved my life).

We need to get the planes back up in the air, except for the very most dangerous areas around the volcanic ash cloud.

I fully believe that the reason that aeroplanes are not flying is because whomever is responsible for making the decision of 'yes it is safe' knows that if disaster or near-disaster struck, they would be hounded by the media and be forced to live with the consequences of their decision, however slight the chance of such a disaster may be. So they have to go for the cautious approach, even though it is likely in my opinion to be more indirectly damaging to people's lives than the "risky" approach.

As a friend of mine would say, the guy making the decision needs to grow some balls and "man up".

Get the planes in the air.

This is a ridiculously huge, costly and probably indirectly-deadly over-reaction and we must get flying again.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Leaders Debate - I Have An Opinion!

Well surely you have all been waiting for my comments about the leaders debate? Unfortunately it isn't too controversial or weird, but I still feel it is my duty to tell you what I am thinking after the debate - in the same kind of way that Gordon Brown feels it is his duty to lead the country. Ie I want to produce a review for the blog, although other people would be far better than me at it, but as I have chosen myself to do it, it has become my duty to do it, so I must carry on. And you will listen and follow me. I am your dictator.

Anyway, those that know me, know I truly believe that Margaret Thatcher's Conservatives rescued the country from Labour's ruinous 1970's governmentship. Yes not everything she did was the best thing to do but overall we are in so much of a better position as a country thanks to her.

We did need a change in 1997 and I wasn't too bothered about Tony Blair coming in even though I was pretty sure it was all spin, image and lies.

We didn't need Gordon Brown to ruin the economy by racking up massive debts so he can follow his dream to become leader which he so desperately wanted to be ever since he was young - it was his destiny, his duty, remember?

Anyway, back to the modern day. I think the country is in a pretty dire situation. Not as bad as the 1979 though (thanks to many things the Conservatives did during the 1980's) and not as bad as David Cameron describes in his idea of 'Broken Britain'.

However we need leadership. I want someone to aspire to. And I can just about aspire to David Cameron. Nick Clegg, I am afraid I cannot. Gordon Brown - well the less said the better, that is no kind of leadership in my book. Unless you are a dictator of course. Or want a dictator. Maybe we want a dictator? We don't want to make our own decisions? We want to be controlled?


I've said all this before so I'll get to the point of the post.

I was disappointed with David Cameron's performance last night. Not enough bite, not enough attacking. I was also disappointed with Nick Clegg for attacking the Conservatives more than Labour, as surely he cannot think that Gordon Brown is in any way an acceptable figure, especially when Gordon kept saying things like "and I think Nick will agree with me..." - yuck. That is another reason I hate Gordon Brown is that he uses people in an assumptive matter in his arguments, eg "And the people will agree with me".

Anyway that was Nick Clegg's time in the limelight, he did shine as a debater and now the policies will be properly scrutinised by the media I hope.

I wouldn't actually mind a Liberal Democrat government. I would prefer a Conservative one. I would prefer a Conservative one led by someone like William Hague or Boris Johnson. But I will accept David Cameron.

I really just want rid of the lying, dictating, controlling monster government designed and led by Gordon Brown.

Thursday, April 15, 2010


I'm really feeling a desire to post something really provocatively sexist that will get me into a lot of trouble, but being a realist I am going to concentrate on trying to work out why at 30 years of age, I still do my own washing, ironing, clean the flat, hoover and haven't swapped the cooker for a BBQ. And still rely on pornography and imagination (depending on whether I can be bothered to switch my computer on).

Oh where are those Danish pastries?

How To Survive Corporate Presentations

I badly wanted to avoid listening to an hour of why we are so good at our jobs today so I could continue to enhance the customer experience whilst optimizing my influence on our cash-flow. I don't want to appear ungrateful for the efforts that have been made, however after 6 years of Credit & Collections experience and a Business Studies degree, I feel that I am aware of the importance of the department I work for in the running of a business.

I also want to avoid attending the Quarterly department update this afternoon as although the figures will have been updated, much of the explanation will not as there is only so much that can be said about a 30-page presentation based on management reports, very little of it has a direct impact on my role - it is nice to know however I want to be productive with the small amount of working time left in the week (remember it is Friday tomorrow).

However solutions have been found for both.

My motivation for the first meeting suddenly went from zero to 100% (ok that is an exaggeration) when I found out that there was an almost unlimited supply of Danish pastries. Suddenly I became interested.

10 Danish pastries and some biscuits later, I have found the solution to avoid the second presentation as I think I will be sick by 3pm due to the large intake of Danish pastries.

All is good :-)

My End Of World Prediction

It seems a lot of people are following some made up group of people called the Myans who predict that the world will end in 2012.

Well I can tell you they are wrong.

It will end on 4th July 2032. I have believed this for 20 years. I know the truth.

My long-term weather forecasts are pretty good so there is surely no reason not to believe me?

I can also predict, with some accuracy that I will be rather trashed on Saturday 10th July 2010 when I attend Cocoon In The Park, in Leeds (buy your tickets!).

Who could surely ever doubt me?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

My Welsh Football Team

Any serious techno fan must support Techno Welshpool. The link in the title provides a link to the Facebook page - my favourite comment being "Does a 0-0 draw compare to minimal techno?)

Getting Paid To Limit Use of Company Plane

Unfortunately this is not a story about me receiving millions in compensation for not using the company's personal plane (I doubt Verizon have one, at least at the European Headquarters where I work - they don't even seem to have their own helicopter - what kind of company is this?).

But it got me thinking about what I would give up using in exchange for a large amount of money.

I would for example quite happily bring in my own stationary in exchange for about £10,000.00 a year. I would give up using the water cooler and bring in my own water in exchange for perhaps £20,000.00 a year. I might even consider giving up drinking on evenings prior to work in exchange for maybe £100,000.00 and unlimited use of prostitutes (of a much higher grade than those that walk the streets though - and preferably ones without a taste for the good one Afghan magic seeds). In fact I would even give up Friday Club in exchange for £1,000,000.00 and Sven Vath permanently DJing in the long as some monkey bars were installed for him to swing from whenever he required.

I wouldn't necessarily expect the above but I have had a few long-desired wishes come true at work recently, so I remain hopeful.


I cannot say that I currently aspire to go watch people running around a track, though if it in any way involves Boris Johnson taking part in any sporting activity, maybe a bit of table tennis (or wiff waff as he called it), then I am all for it.

However I might get swept away in Olympics mania in 2012 so I've registered my interest in future ticket sales. I suggest you do too if you don't want to miss out.

Link in title.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Updated Weather Forecast

I think you need one of these. Apologies as it has been a while but not much has been happening.

The dry spell is set to continue although with fair amounts of cloud at times, so temperatures around 13'C-14'C. I am hopeful of something a touch warmer during the weekend around 15'C-16'C.

Early next week I think there will be a gentle northerly developing which will again cool things down, though not so much down here in Reading. At worst down to 10'C especially if we get a cloudy day, there is a threat of some rain but nothing too much I suspect, early next week.

And then perhaps towards the weekend of 24th/25th April, temperatures could rise again to perhaps 18'C but also I think the chance of rain will increase and could be somewhat more unsettled.

I'm still hopeful for the summer and this extended period of high pressure is helping my hopes. I'm still also sticking to my bets of a warmer but wetter than average May. We shall see.

No Google

This is my letter to Google following my 40 days of Lent without Google Searches. It really wasn't easy and I do not recommend it.


Dear Google

I thought I would share my story about Lent.

I'm not a fan of religion and in no way am I willing to give up something like food or alcohol for some bizarre religious idea.

But I like to join in with things still so last year I gave up paper clips for Lent which was fairly easy.

This year I had the bright idea of giving up Google Searches.

It was not so easy. Firstly I tried to use Bing but it was just not giving me the satisfactory search results I had become used to. Next I tried Yahoo which was ok but still not a patch on Google.

I'm sure I did accidentally search with Google a couple of times when drunk or something as it is so ingrained into my life.

You probably already realise that Google is the best search engine out there, but I have to prove these things to myself.

I hope you appreciate my research and continue to provide excellent search results.

Lent was difficult this year and I was so glad for it to pass so I could get back to normal life.

Next year I will give up something easier, perhaps tin foil.

All the best

Monday, April 12, 2010

Carl Craig, Francesco Tristano & Moritz Von Oswald at Royal Festival Hall, London

In the title is a link to listen to 45 minutes of the 22nd Century Techno thing that I went to back in February - really impressive, really good music and completely different to anything else I have heard recently.

Thoroughly recommend it if you fancy something a little different.

Photo gallery link below

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Conservative's Secret Weapon

I'm going to try not to bang on about the election.

Actually, bollocks I'm desperate to get rid of the dictator.

Anyway I think I found out the Conservative's secret weapon designed to get as many guys voting for them - down Broad Street in Reading yesterday was a ridiculously hot young woman trying to promote them.

That will surely seal quite a few votes.

I also saw someone with an inflatable banana on their head trying to canvas votes which I guess is quite some competition but I vote hot young woman any day of the week over an inflatable banana.

Seth Troxler - A Bit Crazy

Very funny video of Seth Troxler and his crazy crazy mind! Link to Youtube video is in the title. Very well worth 4 minutes of your time.

In case you don't know, Seth is a DJ from Detroit making quite a buzz on the underground, for his DJing, crazy partying and also vocals behind some underground hits - his DJ style mixes house, minimal, percussive stuff and trancey stuff (eek!) and some weird choices but is a good listen.


Thanks to Matt for discovering this beauty :-)

Blog Ignoring

Well I've been a bit crap recently, and very lazy in every aspect of my life except my social life.

So apologies if anyone relys on my words of wisdom to get through the day and have had to struggle to keep back the tears and desperation looking for words of wisdom from me.

I have plenty to report and lots to say especially with the upcoming election so I'll get back into gear and maybe go a little overboard in the next couple of weeks to make up for it.

In the mean-time, enjoy some nice dry and often sunny and quite pleasant weather :-)

Lots of blog-loving x